THE WEEKLY INVESTIGATION / VOL. 01
EVERY POINT COUNTS.
ZERO HAS CONSEQUENCES.
Halftime watches are recorded from monitoring onward. Final scores remain subject to Sleeper stat corrections.
Halftime suspects. Still under investigation.
Final score ≤ 0. You owe the league.
Watched at halftime. Finished above zero.
BY SUNSET.
Your hometown. Your video.
The clock doesn’t care.
Persons of interest / 03
STARTERS ONLYKyle Pitts
De'Zhaun Stribling
All 12 teams. Under surveillance.
WEEK 1THE RECORD NEVER FORGETS
The Weasel Archives
Starting lineups only
Rebuilt from final scores and completed NFL games. Historical halftime observations are unavailable. Three entries with no active fantasy matchup are held for commissioner review; Week 18 retained lineups are excluded. Earlier LOTF seasons are not connected yet.
TheRudeDudes7
- Week 1 · Tyler Lockett 0.00 pts
- Week 7 · Kameron Johnson 0.00 pts
- Week 7 · George Kittle 0.00 pts
- Week 9 · Michael Carter 0.00 pts
- Week 10 · Chris Moore 0.00 pts
- Week 17 · Jordan Love 0.00 pts
- Week 17 · George Kittle 0.00 pts
mackymulty6
- Week 7 · Jameson Williams 0.00 pts
- Week 8 · Lamar Jackson 0.00 pts
- Week 8 · Jerry Jeudy 0.00 pts
- Week 8 · Darnell Washington 0.00 pts
- Week 12 · Jameson Williams 0.00 pts
- Week 14 · Bhayshul Tuten -1.50 pts
JCCooper6
- Week 13 · Joe Flacco 0.00 pts
- Week 15 · Jayden Daniels 0.00 pts
- Week 16 · Jayden Daniels 0.00 pts
- Week 17 · Jayden Daniels 0.00 pts
- Week 17 · DK Metcalf 0.00 pts
- Week 17 · Alec Pierce 0.00 pts
CringPies6
- Week 8 · Quentin Johnston 0.00 pts
- Week 10 · Garrett Wilson 0.00 pts
- Week 11 · Olamide Zaccheaus 0.00 pts
- Week 11 · Quentin Johnston 0.00 pts
- Week 13 · Chimere Dike -0.10 pts
- Week 16 · Dalton Kincaid 0.00 pts
JonnyKingsbury3
- Week 1 · Xavier Worthy 0.00 pts
- Week 5 · Zach Ertz 0.00 pts
- Week 15 · Zach Ertz 0.00 pts
swishasuede3
- Week 3 · CeeDee Lamb 0.00 pts
- Week 8 · Jake Ferguson 0.00 pts
- Week 10 · DJ Moore 0.00 pts
vovoclock3
- Week 7 · Mike Evans 0.00 pts
- Week 12 · Tyrell Shavers 0.00 pts
- Week 17 · Marvin Harrison 0.00 pts
rajibjahan2
- Week 7 · Lil'Jordan Humphrey 0.00 pts
- Week 14 · Tyrod Taylor -0.76 pts
KingRipper2
- Week 9 · Rome Odunze 0.00 pts
- Week 15 · Rome Odunze 0.00 pts
GButts1
- Week 13 · Amon-Ra St. Brown 0.00 pts
squirrellynash1
- Week 2 · Colston Loveland 0.00 pts
DrGreen11160
No qualifying starters in the verified archive.
THE WEASEL CODE READ THE RULES +
- Only starting-lineup players count. Bench, IR, and taxi players never count. A starter at 0 or less enters Weasel Watch at their game’s halftime.
- Finish the game with 0 points or less and your fantasy team earns a weasel.
- The combined halftime report goes out when all but one game in the current kickoff group has reached halftime. Single-game slots wait for that game’s halftime.
- Two qualifying players = double. Three = triple. Every player counts.
- A confirmed weasel means you owe the league its required punishment/video.
- Videos are due by sunset Wednesday in your hometown. Late videos incur commissioner-defined additional penalties.
- No exemptions for kickers, tight ends, stars, champions, or former King Weasels.
- You escape only by FINISHING with more than 0 points.
- Negative points still count. That’s arguably even more weaselly.
Exact local sunset requires the manager’s home city. Punishment details and late penalties: commissioner to announce.